Peace Like A River

"You give me peace like a river, runnin' free. Peace like a river, and I'm here on my knees. Oh, I feel Your sweet release. What You are and what You do to me, Oh You fill my heart and lay my soul to sleep. You give me peace like a river."

I've done a bit of soul searching the past month, or so. I've done a lot of wrestling, and made a lot of decisions along the way, too. I'm growing and adapting, something I'll always be doing, and I feel the need to share it with you along the way.

If there is one thing I can't stress enough in this life, it is this; Everything happens for a reason. It truly does. I can't even begin to describe all the reasons to believe this, and I honestly can't understand how someone could believe otherwise, especially since we have been granted the gifts of retrospection and perception. This month has been a perfect example.

As I stated in a post months earlier in which I was reluctant to welcome the new season, I spoke about my normal multi-month long battle with SAD as the days get shorter and nights get colder. In years past, it has been pretty bad. I generally had to have a pep-talk with a friend just about every night to get me through the next day. This hasn't been the case this year. Although, don't get me wrong, I still need a pep-talk every now and then, but who doesn't? I have reason to believe this has do to with someone I've been talking to since the seasons were just starting to mesh together.

I didn't really know him, and he really didn't know me. That sounds fun, right? ...Getting to know someone, I mean. I was aware of his feelings, but not of his thoughts. Turns out we're complete opposite people, in just about every way imaginable. Apparently he believed in the "opposites attract" theory, but unfortunately I don't. All in all, things didn't work out, and I was kind of bummed. (I say bummed instead of broken-hearted because, like I stated in my last blog, I don't let anyone break my heart.) But, yes, I'm a girl and am entitled to be emotional about certain things. Needless to say, I started regretting the entire situation after it left an awkward silence between our mutual good friend (who happens to also be my co-worker...well, until tomorrow, that is) and myself.

All this was fresh in my mind as I headed to bed at 4 a.m. this morning. My phone had been charging on the other side of the room for the past couple hours, so I figured it had gained full battery life by now. When I went to unplug it, I saw I had missed a message. I opened my phone to see the name of someone I haven't seen but once since high school. (which is actually kind of funny because, not only is he my brother's apprentice, but he lives not two miles from me.) He assumed I was asleep, but said he needed to talk to me the following morning.

I replied to his message anyway, since I was only half an hour late...maybe he hadn't gone to bed yet? What was soon to come was the most heart-wrenching honesty I've ever heard from anyone. As I've mentioned many times before, I believe honesty is always the best policy, so hearing all this from him was incredible, and it was raw. Throughout all the years I've known him, I've always been there for him when he needed me. I try to be that friend for everyone, but there's always been an extra level of protectiveness in me towards him, yet I never felt he truly appreciated my caring for him. It didn't matter though, I was just happy to be there for him when he needed someone.

Well what was to come at four in the morning was an apology for his never realizing what a true friend I've been to him over the years-his words, not mine-and that he needed me to be the friend to listen, just one more time. An hour and a half later, we both headed to bed but not before I received a message with the words I really needed someone to say: "I know for a fact that you're an amazing person, and you deserve someone that would be loyal, and cares about you as much as I KNOW you would them. I'm just so glad you've listened, and you're there for me...every time I need you. You mean more to me than you know."

You might be wondering what the story of the "new found friend" and this have in common or how this proves everything happens for a reason, but think about it. Had I never gotten to know this new person, I never would have been able to really grasp how true my friends words were. I realized that that guy never measured up to anything I need in not just a relationship, but a friendship as well. I'm no longer bummed. I'm still not going to settle. That conversation came at a perfect time, in the wee hours of the morning, when we're most vulnerable to ourselves. He had no idea I needed to hear those words, yet he spoke them anyway. Those things don't just happen.

Not only did my friends words help me realize my worth, he also helped me realize that I need to be happy. I'm going to be happy, being who I am. Tonight, I picked up a book I haven't read in a while called, "Undressed" by Jason Illian. It's about the naked truth. My eyes have been opened once again to just how blessed I truly am. I've got the best friends anyone could ask for, an awesome job, a family that provides me with more than I need, and most importantly, I've got God on my side. I really couldn't ask for anything more. :)



P.S.- There's a song you should listen to. It's called Peace Like A River by a man named Andrew Ripp. It's absolutely beautiful. Some of the lyrics are above. Go listen, and enjoy.

Raise The Bar High

“I aint settlin’, or “just getting by”. I’ve had enough “so-so” for the rest of my life.”

I'm not quite sure what it is about young women today thinking they need a man to love them before they can love themselves. Most don’t even care about finding the man, they just want a man to tell them they're beautiful. Someone needs to say something and I’m not a shy person, so listen up.

There is a right way and a wrong way to approach a romantic relationship. Too many girls spend too much time living life by the heart. Although it’s true, love is an emotion, many fail to realize how important it is to guide your emotions through your mind, sort of like a filtering process. That might sound like a cold-hearted idea, but stay with me, here.

There are three things girls and women alike need to realize and take to heart before letting just anyone in. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a very 'open book' kind of person, a I wear my heart on my sleeve, but when it comes to a relationship with the opposite sex, I always let my mind be my guide before my heart. That doesn't mean I can't be spontaneous and fun, I can still make logical decisions and not look like a fool. I prefer the "Yes, I do have brains" look to the, "..What?" look any day. Too many young woman give up on themselves, and so quickly because they think they need a man to fill that emotional void. Let me tell you now, no physical action can cover an emotional wound.

As for those three reasons, here they are:

Don't Settle. I can't stress this enough. No woman deserves to settle just because she believes she can't do any better, or because 'he treats me well'. Just because he's nice, doesn't mean he's your soul mate. Yes, I use the term soul mate because I whole-heartedly believe God has created a mate for us, if we only let Him lead the way. It's a hard concept for many females to comprehend because we think we're so different that when we find a guy who accepts us, we've got to hold onto him. Listen to me, no you dont. There are plenty of guys out there, and they aren't all douchebags, I promise.

Be Picky. Don't go for the first guy who makes eye contact with you. How boring would that be, anyway? There are other guys out there willing to date you, trust me. Wait for the right one. I'm not saying you have to find Mr. Right right away, we'd all love that if it were possible, but wait for someone who is not just good to you, but good for you as well. Going on one date doesn't mean you're in a relationship, so you're allowed to make mistakes. If you don't click with a guy, don't go out with him again. Simple as that. Be realistic about it. If what's important to you isn't important to him, I'm sorry but, I guarantee he won't "change for you". Wait for the guy who shares your priorities.

Just Breathe. A lot of young girls get attached too easily. They get excited that someone is paying attention to them and they don't want to let that feeling (or that guy) go. Coming from a girl who has to watch this happen every Sunday evening, that's just pathetic. Trust me, the guy thinks so, too. It also attracts them in the wrong way. That's how it is between two of my friends, he knows she's in love with him because she's always following him around like a little puppy, but he keeps her around for the sex. Don't be that girl. Don't obsess. Let him chase you.

I'll admit right here and now that I haven't been in many relationships, but I also don't let anyone break my heart. If I don't match up intellectually or morally with a guy I find attractive, you better believe nothing will happen. There's so much more than physical attraction. Hopefully some girls will learn to accept that, and keep their heart in one piece. You're worth waiting for.